"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance.The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break." -Chinese proverb

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Mother's Day

Yeah, I'm a little late with this post.  I think I started it on Mother's Day but this week...ugh...is just a rough week for me.  Anyways, I had a wonderful Mother's Day.  The kids and Erik brought home some donuts and Starbucks for breakfast.  Then, we went to church where they had a photo booth for all of the moms to get to take pictures with their families.  I thought it was a perfect gift since us moms can never get enough pictures!  After that, we went to brunch and then home where we relaxed for the rest of the day.  The kids (with help from Daddy) gave me some special gifts that they had painted at a pottery place (my absolute favorite kind of gift!) and a really nice bird feeder.  Ella had also made a painting of me at school and had done a little interview about me with help from her teacher where she answered all of these questions about me.  It was adorable and she got most of her facts about me right except for the weight...she thinks I weigh 13 lbs. :-D  Ethan was less than 3 lbs. away from that when he was born!  Ha!  Gotta love the girl for that! She also said that I'm the best mother in the world because I have the best cuddles....awww!  The best part of Mother's Day was having all of my kids with me which was different than last year.  Last year was definitely bittersweet knowing that my youngest daughter was on the other side of the world in an orphanage.  It was so nice to spend Mother's Day with Liana.  It's sad to know that she has never spent a Mother's Day with a mama before but that won't happen again. :-)  I'm a very blessed mama. <3

The day before Mother's Day is Birth Mom's Day.  I have such mixed feelings when it comes to Liana's birth mama.  I feel so grateful to her for choosing life when abortion is so common and encouraged in China.  She went through 9 months of pregnancy and labor for this beautiful girl to be on this earth and doesn't get to be the one to watch her grow.  I feel sorrow for her that she doesn't know that her daughter is in a family who loves her and no longer in an orphanage.  She can only wonder what has happened to the baby that she gave birth to.  I feel guilt that I get to be the one to raise this child and watch her grow.  I feel fear of the future and how I will answer Liana's questions as she gets older about her start in this world and her birth family and how she came to be in this family that doesn't look like her.  I worry that she won't always think of me as her "real" mom and if she will someday rebel against us because we don't share the same genes.  That's what us moms do though, right?  We worry.  About everything.  I know that I can only take it as it comes and hope and pray that I can handle things as they come up.  I just hope that I can be everything that all of my kids need me to be. 

Me and my cubs
(check out Ella...how does a 6 year old know how to pose like that?!)

Fun in the photo booth