Adoption day (day 4)

It's official, Liana is ours!!!  We spent all morning doing our official adoption stuff and then they handed us our adoption certificate, took our picture and said, "Congratulations!"  Wow, what a feeling!  They have you wait 24 hours after "Gotcha" to make sure that you're happy with your child.  Can you imagine getting this far and then letting something get in your way?  I don't care how she acted, she was ours in our hearts the moment we first found out about her, now it's just official.  They asked us during a little interview whether we would treat her as our own and if we promised not to abuse or abandon her.  It makes me tear up just thinking about it.  She is our own and it just breaks my heart to even think about mistreating her or abandoning her.  Liana is now "ours" just as much as Ella and Ethan are. 

So, let's talk about the girl of the hour.  Last night, right before bedtime, Liana was grieving.  It started when I changed her diaper and started to get her ready for bedtime.  I think maybe she realized then that she wasn't going back to the orphanage and she just cried and cried and then she wailed.  I couldn't get her to calm down so I handed her to Erik and after just a little while, she stopped.  Then I cried.  My heart hurt that this little girl that I love so much and have worked so long to get her in our arms didn't want me and wouldn't be comforted by me.  I'm not sure if it was because I was the one who had started the evil task of getting her ready for bed or if it was just the whole thing about Daddy being a man.  What happened to all the fun we had all day?  What happened to the smiles and the cuddles?  I don't know but I felt awful.  I've heard of this so many times and read about it in so many blogs and I always knew that I would not handle that rejection well and I did not handle it well at all.  This morning though, when she woke up, I was quick to be the one to rescue her from her crib and she cuddled me like a little koala bear.  She has seriously been perfect all day!  The only times that Liana has had a hard time are when I've changed her diaper or her clothes.  I didn't even end up putting her in her jammies last night because she clearly didn't want to be changed.  So she slept in her clothes.  Today, she started to get upset when I started to take off her shirt but I started acting silly with her and made it a game and we got through it.  She does not want to wear any shoes but the ones that she came to us with.  Socks are okay though, so she just wore socks today and that was fine with me. 

Some progress that we made was the bottle.  They give bottles to the kiddos in orphanages here much longer than we do in the U.S. so she has one 3 times a day still.  We are happy with this because giving an adopted child a bottle is supposed to be a great way to bond with them.  But she wouldn't take one from us for anything yesterday.  We tried all the tricks that help adoptive parents with kids from China...heating it up warmer than what we're used to, making the hole in the nipple huge...nothing helped.  But this morning when I tried, she chugged that thing down faster than I thought possible.  She eats well but she holds a bite in her mouth forever.  I think that it's because she hasn't always been given food whenever she was hungry so having food in her mouth is comforting to her.  When Erik put her down for bed, she clung to a piece of rice cookie and fell asleep with it in her hand.  Food issues like this are very common for children who have lived in an orphanage and can actually last into adulthood.  So if we need to always have food with us to reassure our little girl, we can do that.

The orphanage director was there with us today and she clearly loves Liana.  We were told again how much everyone loved our little girl.  I had a good moment. Liana was sitting on my lap and the orphanage director was saying her Chinese name, trying to get her attention and she turned to my guide and they started speaking in Chinese, clearly about me because they kept looking at me.  Alice, our guide, said that the orphanage director said that she can tell that Jiejing really likes me because she was so happy just sitting there on my lap, even though someone from her orphanage that has been around her and known her all this time was there calling her name.  That made me so happy, especially after last night's rejection. 

Everyone is napping right now so the day isn't over but this is the best time to blog.  So far, our day has been wonderful.  Ethan even got her first giggles when he ripped a toy out of her hand.  I guess she thought it was a fun game.  Ethan was thrilled so what wasn't exactly meant to be nice did end up being a funny little game.  Oh, and today was the first time she let her feet touch the ground and we got to see her walk!  Poor little thing has felt so insecure that she hasn't let us put her feet on the floor.  She will sit in the middle of the bed and play all day.  But today, during one of our long waits, she saw her other Shanghai buddies that were being adopted also today, playing around and she climbed out of my lap and very carefully, walked around.  I get the feeling it might be a while before we discover her true personality.  I know the "honeymoon" of her being perfect will wear off eventually and I can't wait until she feels secure enough with us to join in the fun and start racing around with her brother and sister.  She still has a lot of grieving to do and we're learning as we go but whatever she throws at us, we'll get through it.

Sorry if that was too much rambling.  I want everything written down to remember it later because I know all too well how quickly things from your kids are forgotten.  Now, onto the pics!

 I look terrible but I love the way she was cuddling me

 Erik cut a sleeve off of his t-shirt to keep a bandage on Ethan's head so that's what the blue thing is

 Look at those beautiful, mournful eyes

 Finally braving it and walking around

 Liana with the orphanage director

 It's official!

 Oh my, look at that grin!

Gotcha Liana Jie Jing! (day 3)

What a day!  Oh my gosh, where do I start?  After a night of no sleep (I mean, who could sleep?!), we got up, had breakfast and I packed up Liana's little backpack with a few things.  Our guide met us in the lobby of our hotel at 9 and we headed out for the orphanage.  When we got there, there were some other families already there doing paperwork.  I have met two of the other families on Facebook so it was awesome to be there with them on the day we got our children, although I don't think any of us were aware of each other when it was happening.  We had to do some paperwork for a while, then Ethan had a dirty diaper and I had left the diaper that I was planning on packing in our hotel.  He had to borrow a diaper from the pack that the orphanage gave us for Liana.  Borrowing diapers from his sister before we even met her...sheesh!  Then, after a bit more waiting and watching other kids meet their families, in walks two nannies with Liana.  I thought I wouldn't cry but I did.  I got myself together quickly so I wouldn't scare her and have the ugly cry face in pictures.  I stood there and smiled like an idiot at her, talking to her and nervously touching her arm.  Then her nanny tried to hand her to me.  She wasn't thrilled with that idea so I got a sucker.  She quickly grabbed it but just held onto it and then they handed her to me.  She fussed for a bit but I rocked her back and forth a little and talked to her and she quickly stopped.  After a little while, I decided it was time to hand her to her new Baba (Daddy in Chinese).  She went to Erik, no problem and the nannies laughed and said that most of the kids are like that with men.  She even fussed a little when Erik gave her back to me a while later.  This is very typical.  Most kids prefer one parent over the other at first, and more often then not, it's the dad.  No idea why.  So I admit, I hogged her after that so we could get some bonding in.  She has been an absolute angel all day.  No kidding!  She didn't cry when we said goodbye to her nannies but we had noticed that the nannies were crying as they brought her in.  They told me that everyone at the orphanage loves her.  I'm not surprised.  She seems so well taken care of.  They also told me, a couple of times, that she's very active.  Little do they know how used to that I already am with Liana's big sister and brother (more on that later, for the drama part of the day).  I thought she might fight it or cry as we left the building but she didn't.  We walked around the outside of the orphanage a little and took some pictures and then we got in the van and left.  She was sweet the whole way home and even showed a little personality as Ella was showing her things from her backpack.  She would just grab them out of her hands like she knew they were hers. 

When we got back to the hotel, Erik and Ethan ran down to a restaurant outside our hotel to bring back some hopefully familiar foods for Liana and all of us for lunch.  Erik got Ethan and Ella in chairs and somehow, Ethan leaned back in his and fell backward, hitting his head on the entertainment center.  His head immediately started gushing blood so we called up our guide and she hurried back to take us to the children's hospital.  I didn't know what to do...go with Ethan or stay with the girls.  Erik made the decision to go with Ethan while I stayed back and I cried, knowing that I wasn't going to be there with Ethan.  I've never not been there for a doctor's appointment of any kind.  This is one of the hardest parts of being a mom, I think.  Not being able to always be there for all of your kids.  I have always said that I can't believe we made it to two with Ethan without him getting a broken bone or stitches.  He saved it for China on our first day with Liana.  Poor boy came back with stitches with his head wrapped in a huge bandage. 

While the boys were gone, Ella and I played with Liana.  She was so much fun.  I got her first smiles as I put noodles in her mouth.  She hanging out of her mouth and she must have thought that was amusing because she gave me a tiny smile.  Then she would throw her head back like a baby bird as I put more noodles in her mouth and smile each time.  I was recording her with our video camera and said, "Jie Jing, say 'mama'" and she did it!  First time and I caught it on camera!  Not that she knows what that really means yet or that I'm her mama but still...it was pretty cool!  We learned that she loves to color when Ella got out her coloring book and Liana swiped a marker from her and went crazy with it.  I was a bad mama and instead of putting her down for a nap, I was having too much fun  so I kept her up until she passed out on our bed.  Everyone is napping way too late, except for me of course. 

Okay, enough rambling and let's get to the good stuff.  All you really want is pics anyways, right?!

Shanghai Children's Welfare Institute

 Last pic as a family of four!

Look at her nanny's face <3

 Meeting her jie jie (big sis)

 Please don't cry, please don't cry!

 Aw, she cried

Meeting Baba!

 First pic as a family of five!

Sisters

 With her ge ge (big brother)

 I have a bunch more I'd love to share but I'll leave you with the first smile I caught on camera

Jetlag day (day 2)

Today was jet lag day.  We're just trying to get our bearings.  I thought that we'd all sleep great last night since we were so exhausted and sleep deprived.  Well, Erik did...the rest of us were struggling.  I woke up before it was even midnight and couldn't get back to sleep for hours.  I had even taken a Unisom.  Once we drug ourselves out of bed in the morning around 6:30 when Ethan decided it was time to be up for good, we went down to the breakfast buffet in our hotel.  We stuck with safe, somewhat familiar foods but we'll get more adventurous later.  Then, we headed out.  Right behind our hotel is Nanjing Road, which is the main shopping street in Shanghai.  It was really fun this morning because it wasn't very busy yet and we could just wander around.  There were a lot of different groups of people with different music just dancing in the middle of the road.  I don't know if you knew this but we are celebrities in Shanghai.  Yep, people take our pictures and come up to talk to us, even though we don't know Mandarin and they don't know English, all the time.  Okay, it happens to all white people here, especially if you happen to be blonde.  They love the kids.  It's really crazy.  This one woman came up and was so excited about the kids that she ended up grabbing the stroller away from Erik saying, "It's okay!" and posed with the kids as her husband took a picture.  We went back to Nanjing Road this evening and it was much, much busier.  We made a spectacle of ourselves by posing with some guy dressed up as a bear and having Erik take a picture.  You would not believe the crowd we drew, all flashing away at us like we are famous.  It's crazy!

After coming back to the hotel to rest a bit, we went to this park nearby called People's Park.  It was really pretty and there are even a bunch of carnival rides.  We had our first split pants experience there.  Split pants are these pants that they use on little kids.  Rather than wearing diapers, the pants have a split down the center of them so if a child needs to go to the bathroom, they just go, no matter where they are.   We were following this path to find a "waterfall" and as we rounded a corner, there was a mom holding her baby and he was just spraying away, right towards us.  This happened to be where the waterfall, which ended up just being a trickle of water on some rocks, was.  We pointed it out to Ella and took off. 

Shanghai, from our room

Ella and Ethan's biggest fan

 People's Park

Nanjing Road- our hotel is the tan building right behind the Olympus sign

Making a spectacle of ourselves.  You can tell what I'm thinking, "Erik, hurry up and take the freaking picture!"

This was our last day as a family of four!  It is only 11 1/2 hours until we get Liana!  I can't believe this day has finally come!  It has always felt like a dream that might not come true but our day is finally here!!  Whoa there on all the exclamation points.  I'll try to calm it down. :-) Our guide is picking us up at 9 and we are supposed to meet Liana at 9:30.  We found out tonight that we actually get to get her at her orphanage, which isn't what they usually do.  We're really excited about this!  We really wanted a chance to see where she has lived for the past 2 years.  11 1/2 hours...I better try and get some sleep! 

We're in China! (day 1)

Well, after I don't even know how many hours, we made it!  We are in the same city as Liana!  It felt just completely unreal flying into Shanghai.  As we were driving into the city, I was looking around wondering where she is.  She's here somewhere!  The flights went well except for a delay on the plane to Shanghai where we were stuck on the runway just sitting for an extra hour. We were on that plane for over 16 hours.  Ella and Ethan were so awesome!  I am so proud of them!  Ethan had some tough times but not nearly as bad as I thought.  A guy sitting in front of Ella snapped at her before we even took off because apparently, she was tapping the tv on his seat too much.  I could tell he was just angry that he had to sit by kids.  Poor Ella was afraid to do anything after that.  The guy behind us thought the guy was a jerk and commented after the flight on how great our kids were.  Ella only slept a couple of hours and Ethan slept 5 or 6, I think...?  I slept...zero.  Nada.  I'm exhausted.  I only got 2 hours of sleep the night before we left and I don't remember ever feeling this tired before in my life.  Basically a whole day flying or sitting in airports with a 2 year old and a 5 year old is...oh, I don't even have a word for it.  Poor babies are so tired but handling it so well.  Our hotel is amazing!  This place is gorgeous and we have a jacuzzi tub!  Can't wait to use that tomorrow!  We're on the 20th floor with an amazing view.  It's just so crazy that we're actually in China!  And even crazier that we're getting Liana in a day and a half!  I just hope I can get some sleep before then....

China or bust

We're leaving tomorrow to get our girl!!
Here's our itinerary:
9/14- Depart: 5:56   Arrive: 8:13 AM Chicago
Depart: 10:23 AM Chicago
9/15- Arrive: 1:55 PM Shanghai
9/16- Free day
9/17- Liana day!!!
9/18- Adoption processing
9/19- Free day
9/20- Free day
9/21- Fly to Guangzhou for U.S. part of adoption
9/22- Visa paperwork check and medical check
9/23- Free day
9/24- TB result check in medical clinic
9/25- Free day
9/26- Free day
9/27- Visa appointment and Oath taking ceremony
9/28- Visa pick-up; train to Hong Kong
9/29- Depart Hong Kong: 10:25 AM  Arrive: 1:55 PM New York
Depart: 4:59 PM New York
Arrive: 7:47 PM Home!

We're coming Liana!!!

Breathe in, breathe out...

We are leaving for China in 3 days...THREE DAYS!!!  And really, it's only 2 1/2 because we're leaving in the middle of the night.  I'm getting kinda nervous!  I've been cleaning like crazy so we can come home to a clean house.  Of course, as soon as we walk in the door that will be over but at least it can start clean.  Plus, it will be Liana's first time in her new home so it needs to make a good first impression!  Packing for 4 (me, Ella, Ethan and Liana...Erik can pack himself :-) is no joke.  I'm basically taking an entire pharmacy with us so we should be covered.  I never shared any pictures of Liana's room so I threw her pile of clothes that I'm packing into the family room for a minute so I could take some pictures. 

Here it is!

And, the closet :-)

Ella and Ethan are getting so excited!  We were talking about going to China the other day in the car and Ethan piped up from the backseat, "I hug Li-li.  I make happy Li-li!"  So, so sweet!  I'm sure that will be true and I'm also sure that he will make miserable Li-li too at times but his heart is in the right place!  They're both excited about going on an airplane.  Little do they know, they'll be on way too many airplanes for way, way too many hours.  It's a 14 1/2 hour flight to Shanghai and that's after a 2 1/2 hour flight to Chicago.  Then, on the way back, it will be 15 1/2 hours from Hong Kong to New York and then almost a 4 hour flight from New York to here with 3 kids!  This could will be interesting.  We've got backpacks full of goodies and we all have our own tv on the plane, so let's hope that and Benadryl do the trick.  Benadryl?!  Nah, I wouldn't do that to get my kids to sleep on the airplane!  *cough, cough*  ;-)

Happy Birthday Liana!!!

Liana turned 2 today!  What a bittersweet day.  How I wish we could have celebrated with her on her special day.  If things had gone a little quicker for us, today would have been the day that we would have gotten her.  Our agency does travel groups twice a month and if we could have traveled with the group that went before ours, we would have gotten her today...on her actual birthday.  Ah, well, it wasn't meant to be.  No use looking back at what could have been.  We will celebrate with her soon!  We will be with her in 14 days!!  I just can't wait!  In the meantime, we celebrated her birthday with some Chinese food and a cake. 

We made a "Countdown to Liana" calendar to count down the days until we leave for China and the kids each made a chain to count down with too. 

And we are leaving in 11 days!  We're coming, darling girl!!